A Lifeline....

Hearing this song while working in office reminded me of him, and I tried to hold back the tears, but it slid down from those eyes he used to gaze into, down those cheeks he had once caressed...


I know I'm moping, I know it sounds pathetic...
I know I'm being blocked off his MSN list...
I know he doesn't want to have anything to do with me...
People's been telling me he's definitely gotten someone new...


For the third time in our relationship, I really cannot trust him completely. He's said he's got no one when he called to end the relationship... Maybe there wasn't anyone then, but there might have been someone waiting in the wings... Perhaps, maybe, there's someone new now, making him laugh, making him smile, and making him happier than i could ever...


Alot has been going through my mind, I am in the denial stage of things, where I have alot of unanswered questions, which perhaps only he has the answers to. However, I am not supposed to contact him, I'm not supposed to look at the clock and be reminded to wake him up for work. I am not supposed to get him to take his medication, I'm not supposed to message him to tell him I've got alot of gas in my stomach, and that my stomach hurt like hell at work today... I'm not supposed to call him once I'm off work, and how I'm not supposed to expect a call after class or after he gets off work... I'm not supposed to think about him anymore...



It really hurts, to know that there is nothing I can do, but keep myself busy, and to tell myself that wounds can be healed in time, and that in time, I would be a better and happier person... But for now, I cannot move on, and zillion questions are rushing through my mind, yet I cannot comprehend nor have the answers to... ...


I need a lifeline... ....









"请不要分了以后还记得亲吻过的承诺.
你的永久已不属於我...
默默低头那时我很多话梗在喉咙...

你的笑你的快乐不是我爱太多想太多,
我能感受他比我适合.
爱放了手我伪装冷漠比你先说分手...

请原谅我原谅我不成熟...
不爱你是藉口好让你离开我...
请原谅我好想自私将你占有,
一个寂寞就给我承受换你过更好的生活...


请不要分了以后还记得亲吻过的承诺.
你的永久已不属於我...
默默低头那时我很多话梗在喉咙...

你的笑你的快乐不是我爱太多想太多...
我能感受他比我适合.
爱放了手我伪装冷漠比你先说分手...

请原谅我原谅我不成熟...
不爱你是藉口好让你离开我...
请原谅我好想自私将你占有...
一个寂寞就给我承受换你过更好的生活...

爱过恨过哭过也笑过,
亲吻过你的脆弱.
其实我比谁都要懦弱...

原谅我必须假装爱错,
别让时间倒流我怕说不出口...
原谅我没有解释太多心痛...


别无所求彻底忘了我爱原来要舍得...

我难过我才懂..."